A Rant: Guys in general (sorry guys)

So, I was listening to a song the other day that went, "Start a new fashion, wear your heart on your sleeve." And I thought, "Well, that's a very nice thought Carrie Underwood. The only problem with that is if you wear your heart on your sleeve, it's easier for someone to rip off, throw on the floor, and stomp on."

Then I realized that it's been my experience that I don't even have to have my heart on my sleeve to to get it ripped out and stomped on. It just happens with every guy I ever like. Which leads me to my feelings today: I am so sick of guys right now, it's not even funny. I have just kind of given up on them for the present. "That's kind of pessimistic, Janel," you may say. "Don't give up on them yet!" Sorry guys. It's official. You're hopeless.

This all started about a week and half ago when I asked that guy on a date. I was excited to ask him. I asked him because I think he's a great guy, and while I know him a little, I'd like to get to know him better. And then the date came and I had a really nice time, up until the awkward doorstep scene, wherein he made it very clear to me* that he was not interested in me. At all. Ouch.

After Saturday, I just decided, why bother? I am so sick and tired of liking a guy, being under the impression that he likes me, but then find out he has girlfriend. Or he is starting to date someone else. Or that he likes this other girl who I love to death, but who is prettier, or smarter, or something better than me. So here comes the really truly rant.

I'm tired listening to guys talk about girls they think are good-looking, or who's a good kisser, or whatever. In all honesty, I don't want to know. Because I don't really care about any other girl you think is cute or whatnot. By all means, ask her out. Just don't tell me about it. I don't want to know. Probably no other girl wants to know either, except maybe the one you're interested in.

I'm tired of being the girl that gets asked out when the guy can't find anyone else to go with. This has happened to me more than once. In fact, I would say the last three or four times a guy has asked me out it has been this situation. Although I've only had one guy outright tell me that he asked me because couldn't find anyone else. Yes, he told me that. That was pretty much the dumbest thing he's ever done.

I'm tired of only going on dates when I ask the guy. It has been nearly two years since the last time a guy asked me out, and that guy was Mr. I-Can't-Find-Anyone-Else-So-I'll-Go-With-You. Guys. A date is not an eternal commitment. It's a date. Honestly. I don't bite. Unless I'm really annoyed and frustrated like I am right now.

I think most of all I'm just tired of being ignored. I don't know what my problem is. Maybe I'm too nice. Or too loud, or quiet, or dumb, or smart, or outgoing, or shy, or pretty, or plain. Or maybe I'm too short. Maybe I'm forever Sweet Little Janel. And Sweet Little Janel doesn't like guys. Of course not. It's preposterous. It's ludicrous. It's a lie.

Don't think that I want a pity because I wrote this. I don't. Is it so wrong to want someone to ask you out because he's genuinely interested in you, and not because he couldn't find anyone else, or because he's sorry for you?

This post, I will admit, goes totally against my Jane Bennett/Elinor Dashwood grin-and-bear-it personality. But I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I am frustrated, and there's not really a lot I can do about it. So I'll vent here.

PS, to guys mostly: I know that most guys are not this dumb and are not jerks or whatever you may think when you read this. This is just the explosion of my frustrations right now. They're not directed to any specific guy. Except maybe Mr. I-Can't-Find-Anyone-Else-So-I'll-Go-With-You. Because that was truly lame.

*See "Three armed hug"